Will The Real Jane Doe Please Come to the Front Desk

I am Jane Doe.

Which was always the case.

I hate being her. She's killing me.

May-be it's a tie between Sebastian and her, but I am the one on the receiving end of both of them.

And I hate them both.

Jackie is back in the picture. She sent Sebastian a birthday present that he forgot to tell me about for 6 days. It slipped his mind......and so did the phone call that he made her.

She brought him print of one of his favourite buildings in the whole world. Isn't she clever to know such things about him. She also brought his children some books.

But I'm supposed to be completely comfortable and at ease with the whole scenario.

Forgive me, but I'm not.

We had a massive fight, and he called me some lovely names on the phone. The up side? I got to cry, and what a release that was. There is still so much inside, I want to scream and yell. I want break something, there is just so much anger inside me and I don't know how to get rid of it.

So instead of yelling at him and telling him what I think, I'm taking it out on myself.

He was supposed to come to a trivia, a work thing, I advised the gossipers at work, that yes, Sebastian Knight was coming to the trivia night. And I even felt OK, not comfortable at all, but OK, because it was out. The rumours had been confirmed.

Then after the Jackie incident, he pulled out.

I think that he was never really coming to trivia. This was confirmed last night. Less than 24 hours after deciding he wasn't coming, he had arranged for a mate to go to his place, they had dinner & drinks.

He was never coming to trivia.

Was the thought of being seen at a work 'do' to much for him?

I suspect so.

So humbled & totally humiliated, I went anyway.

A huge act in itself, I was thinking as I was driving home that I would be in a fatal car accident

and not show my face.

But I did, I even looked the gossipers straight in the eye. Fuck that was so hard.

I held my head high and got drunk to numb out my pain.

And numb the pain it did, so much so I ended up back at his place. Just where I didn't want to be.

So we fucked and slept and as per usual, I woke at 3am having a panic attack. I got up and went and took a xanax, a half, not even a quarter. I went to the toilet and went back to his bed. I fell asleep, and woke after nine. This is when he came in got naked and we fucked again. He came this morning. I wasn't really into it today so I was glad that he entered me from behind, so he couldn't see my face. It's amazing to just disassociate from your body. My body was just being used, and I hardly felt a thing, my mind was too busy somewhere else.

We had a quick shower and he dropped me to my car.

And that was that, another giant step backwards, right back to 1st May 2009.

I feel so sick in the stomach.

A Fucked Fucked Fucked Situation

Jane Doe is at the end.

She can not take this roller coaster of emotions any longer.

Sebastian Knight came over to her house last night. First he had to wait for his significant other to finish yoga, so by the time he got to Jane's place it was past nine o'clock.

They had dinner and then went to bed for another fantastic session of fucking. That's all it is, it's just fucking. It's just two bodies together, moving, grinding, fucking. It's just fucking.

Sebastian Knight left at 8am, using the excuse that he left his suit behind so he had to go home and get ready for work. What a load of shit.

Sebastian Knight is a fucking liar.

Jane Doe & Sebastian had lunch together and at the end of his lunch break she asked him about a rather important event occurring tomorrow. He answered, told her that yes, he was going out to dinner for this occasion and not just that but there are about 20 people going to this dinner.

Jane Doe sat with the answer provided in her stomach all afternoon, until she couldn't stand it anymore.

She emailed Sebastian and asked why he hadn't told her.

she got the following response (allow for spelling errors)

'im "sittiy" with myself for two reasons

- I didn't tell you already

- it's just another sign of me losing the plot. There are so many things that I am forgetting and trying to remember. So many things that aren't being done or finished. I'm really starting to worry about whether I'm losing control and should I really be here

Example - I felt sure I had a meeting this afternoon but at ------'s I checked my cakander and it was empty but I got back just in time for a meeting I booked with folk from here, some consultants and a guy in -------. I put the appointment for next week!

Another example - ----- and ------- are coming for dinner tonight. Did I remember? Nope, but partly cos I thought it was tentative and maybe a joke but did I feel stupid when -------- just reminded me? Totally!

So I'm sorry if I am not telling you about all the stuff going on but most of the time it's cos I don't even know (remember)

Can you forgive me? Or better still, can you help me?

xxxx

The response explaining tomorrow night's event was bizarre but then Sebastian Knight goes on the mention that he is having -------- & ----------- over for dinner.

Yet another event that Sebastian Knight had forgot to tell Jane Doe about.

And Jane Doe is friends with --------- & ----------, however no dinner invitation was extended to her.

Jane Doe had thought that they were a couple, but doesn't even know if she can be bothered anymore.

Jane Doe wishes that her fucking heart would catch up with her fucking head.

Jane Doe's fucking head wants out of this fucking fucked up situation with Sebastian Knight.

- Show quoted text -

Jane Doe doesn't know if she can be bothered anymore.

The other night she was at Sebastian Knights place and admittedly they were a little drunk and a little stoned, however Sebastian Knight decided that that would be a great time to call his mate.

For at least 24 hours before this event, Jane Doe had been concerned about the lack of relationship.So when Sebastian Knight was on the phone, Jane Doe strapped her shoes on and decided to leave, thinking that it was the perfect time with Sebastian on the phone, however this was not the case. Sebastian stopped his phone call and wanted to know why Jane was leaving. She explained that it's all just too hard. The relationship so far from normal, it belongs on another planet. And to be honest, Jane Doe is losing interest, fast.

Sebastian Knight does not care about her, and she is struggling to see any point in the relationship.

At the moment she is struggling to see any point in life.

Yesterday, Jane Doe went for lunch with her friends and had a lovely day, afterwards she was going to meet up with Sebastian Knight, so he hung around at Ginger Collins place, Sebastian Knight was going to be finished with affairs by then. He called her at 8.30pm with the shits, because it was raining and he had wet washing.

Note to Sebastian, buy a dryer.

Anyway, he turned up on Ginger's doorstep, and Jane was really over it by this stage.

His mood changed, but he did have a cone and a drink.

Sebastian & Jane went to his place, yes they were going to stay at her place, but because of his mood, they stayed at his.

Because of his moods, they do everything HE wants.

The night at his place was dreadful, they didn't have sex, that's twice this week, because he was too anxious.

Again, HE was too anxious. It's all about him.

Jane Doe couldn't get to sleep so she had some Xanax and some other sleeping pills.

When she woke in the morning, it was to find Sebastian feeling her up so he could fuck her.

She let him.

She then rolled over and went back to sleep, he made her toast and a cup of tea that had gone cold by the time she woke up. Sebastian had also gone. Family do, with his ex and little important people.

Jane Doe did his dishes, made is bed, folded in laundry and went home.

Then heard nothing from him all day.

Jane Doe is down. She had to see Gregor Redwood this afternoon.

It was dreadful, he is mean, nasty and just awful.

Gregor Redwood still will not give her the money that he owes her and she needs to survive.

She has $9.00 in the bank, and two important people to look after this week.

Everything is getting desperate, Jane Doe is getting desperate, and she wished that she could just cry her heart out. But Jane Doe can't cry, she can't remember the last time she cried. It's been years.

Her heart is broken, her life is breaking and she is broke & broken.

What hope is there for Jane Doe now?

She is considering checking herself into hospital.

More Fucked Stories

What a nightmare.

Jane Doe is unhappy.

Sebastian knight is taking full advantage of her.

Gregor redwood is being an absolute prick.

Jane doe is struggling with everything and the dark thoughts of last month are returning to her head. seeing pills don't seem to do the job, she is considering the option of a noose. she thought that she would never do this, but sometimes things become desperate and any option seems appealing.

Jane is about leave her job for the day  and pick up Sebastian knight so that he can do his grocery shopping.

the thought of him makes her stomach turn.

the shopping experience was dreadful, not only did Jane doe drive him there, she then stood in line, and got push by people who have no idea what personal space is, just so that she could get a fucking coin to pay for the use of a trolley for Sebastian. At one stage Jane Doe felt like walking out and leaving him there, fuck him, Sebastian Knight would not do that for Jane doe.

So Jane & Sebastian walked through his exceptionally cheap grocery shop, while he filled his trolley, she was very careful not to stand too close to the resident inbreds.

Fucking weirdos.

Jane doe then let Sebastian knight take her car back to his place to unload his groceries, do his nightly business and then wait for him to return at approx 8pm.

his is a total cunt and Jane doe is letting him treat her that way.

i wonder how long before Jane doe rolls the dice of death again, somehow, it would seem not too far away.

An Email from Sebastian Knight

You've summarized it in a very harsh way that does not reflect my intentions or feelings.

I am acutely aware of your feelings and and respect your views so I will not willfully do anything to hurt you.

I expect that I will remain in contact with Jackie but the frequency will reduce further.

As I mentioned, I received a call while I was eating my pies and drinking my milkshake.  Due to the dodgy line quality it dropped out several times and Jackie had to keep calling me back.  As a result it was a stop-start call all the way back to work.  When I got here I was already way later than I expected then my new boss .  

I did not forget about you and in fact I was trying to politely get her off the phone so that Ic ould call you and find out how it went with Comic Book Guy.  She was very down and so it made it harder to get away without appearing completely rude and insensitive (yes, you will say that I have no problem treating you that way, oh well)

Instead of calling you I actually came to see you.  Becuase, yes, I am concerned.

There has not been many recent phone calls.  Saturday was a call to see if I was free, which I wasn't so today was the eventual chat.  It's not a regular thing at all, in fact once a month would be an exaggeration.

I was planning to tell you at lunch which I did do.

We are not that close, I have many friends who are closer, and some of them are woman.  IF she comes back to Australia it is unlikely she will return to Newcastle but if she does I indeed to carry on as we are now.  NOT as we were.  That fling ran it's course - until July 2006.  Aspects of it were  resurrected from time to time before things started up with you and has not happened since.  And I do not want it to resume, I have no desire or interested in it resuming and it WILL NOT RESUME.  Either here or remotely.

I didn't know that grandmother at all.  As mentioned she is short of friends and sadly, I am one of the people she turns to to share good and bad news - as a friend.  And if friends can't provide comfort or support in times of need then they aren't friends. 

When you are in this mood, I cannot get through to you.  No matter what I say you will read something untrue or distorted into it to suit your darkest fear.  You are scared of what COULD happen - and that's fine, I understand that cos we all have the same fear.  But you also have the choice to stop this negative slide into something that will only waste time and spoil our night

Please don't make up shit about what hasn't happened and won't happen, life is too good for that.

I hope you are still coming for dinner.  I'm leaving now and hope to see you at 8.  I won't have access to the email until then so please don't expect any responses

I have been in meetings all afternoon and as usual I am struggling to keep up.  Since my teleconference ended at 5:30 I have been writing this email.  I have not been ignoring you.  Although you will no doubt choose to believe otherwise.

He Brought Her A Heater

Jane Doe is falling for Sebastian Knight.

She is trying not too, but is under his spell.

Sebastian Knight came to visit Jane Doe last night and it was magical.

Jane Doe has 2 important people staying with her at the moment, however Sebastian Knight wanted to see them before they went to bed. The 2 important people were very happy to see him and once they had, they were happy to go to bed.

Once the 2 important people were in bed Jane Doe walked over to Sebastian Knight straddled him and kissed him, she had not seen him throughout the  day and much to her alarm she missed him. Sebastian Knight suggested that they go upstairs so that the 2 important people would not wake up.

Sebastian Knight went upstairs first and Jane Doe followed shortly after. He was waiting for her, naked under the covers. Jane Doe touched his skin and wanted him right then, there was nothing that she could do to stop herself. She undressed and he ran his hands over her body and they kissed. Jane Doe can't remember much else until he was inside her, that moment when he first enters her is like no other, she thought that this would of worn off by now, but it hasn't. It gets to a point where Sebastian Knight is so deep inside Jane Doe it feels like she will explode, she can never get enough of him inside her. There is nothing that she can compare it too.

Sebastian Knight & Jane Doe made love, they made love, they didn't just fuck.

Jane fell asleep in Sebastian's arms for about 2 hours then got up because there were things that needed to be done.

She then went and woke Sebastian as he had to leave because Jane Doe does not want Sebastian Knight to sleep over when the 2 important people are here.

So Sebastian Knight went home, he called her on his way and they spoke for 30 mins, in the end, Jane Doe was so tired she was falling asleep.

She didn't see Sebastian Knight until her lunch break, he wanted to go shopping for a heater. They took Jane Doe's car.

In the end Sebastian Knight brought Jane Doe a heater to say thank-you for letting him wash & dry his clothes and also for letting him use her car.

Jane Doe is confused by this and doesn't know what this means.

Jane Doe has an appointment with her shink in the morning to discuss issues such as Sebastian Knight.

Jane Doe is waiting for Sebastian Knight to call, he's 30 mins late.

Just As Jane Doe Suspected

Just as Jane Doe suspected, the phone call to Sebastian Knight was from girlfriend in waiting, Jacquelin Mottram.

Sebastian Knight owned up to this on the phone to Jane Doe tonight.

Poor Jacquelin Mottrams grand mother has passed and of course who else to share the news with, an (ex?) lover. Is she looking for comfort from Sebastian Knight??

Jane Doe is sick from this news, when she first heard it she had to go straight to the bathroom. Then the more Sebastian Knight talked about it, the more Jane doe felt ill and anxious beyond belief. She found herself taking her anger out on two people who are very close to Jane Doe and she would not usually do this, however she felt over whelmed and not entirely sure about what to do. Jane Doe wishes that she could get Sebastian Knight the FUCK out of her life.

Jane Doe had to take a Xanax to calm the buzzing in her head even though the sickness will not pass.

Sebastian Knight claims that he is telling Jane Doe about the phone call because he wants to be honest with her. Sebastian Knight also said that he is going to speak with Jacquelin Mottram.

Jane Doe will be sick with worry until it's over, but who is she kidding, will it ever be over??

Jane Doe's grand father passed away two weeks ago, tonight, and Sebastian Knight was compassionate for 24 hours. May-be Jacquelin Mattram is easy to be compassionate too, or may-be Jacquelin Mottram is just easy.

Jane Doe is confused because Jacquelin Mottram is nothing to look at, but of course Jane Doe has fucked Jacquelin Mottram and Sebastian Knight has.

In times like this Jane Doe wonders if she should fight fire with fire.

Jane Doe has a much younger male friend who is happy to accommodate when Jane Doe needs a meaningless fuck. His name is DJ Musterman.

The funny thing is DJ Musterman got in contact with Jane Doe with a request for hot meaningless sex on the same night that Jane Doe found out about Jacquelin Mottram.

Jane Doe was more than tempted, she doesn't even like DJ Musterman, she would just feel better in herself knowing that if Sebastian Knight is fucking someone else, that she can at anytime too.

Sebastian Knight is a fucking cunt.

Just To Wash His Clothes

Sebastian Knight stayed last night.

Jane Doe cooked dinner from him and they watched a DVD. A Clockwork Orange.

Earlier that day Jane Doe had seen Sebastian Knight when she was at work, he totally ignored her, then lied and said that he looked right at her when he first walked into the room, the only problem with that was that Jane Doe was not in the room when he walked in. She said this to Sebastian Knight and his comeback was something along the lines of 'instead of getting angry about that, get angry at what I'm about to say' then he went on to ask if he could do his washing & dry his clothes.

What could Jane Doe say........she wants to be around him, she wants to be near him.

So Sebastian Knight washed his clothes and he cleaned Jane Does laundry while she cooked dinner.

They watched the DVD then had more amazing sex.

Sebastian Knight likes to call it 'making love' but who is he kidding, they are just fucking. It's amazing fucking, but that is all it is.

When Sebastian Knight tells Jane Doe that he loves her, she wants to believe him, but can't. It's only a matter of time before Sebastian rips Jane's heart straight out of her chest as tosses it away.

They drifted into sleep somewhere around 12.30am.

Jane Doe hates mornings with Sebastian Knight. 

Sebastian Knight wakes up, gets out of bed and does his own thing.

May-be Jane Doe is still stuck in the routine that she had with Gregor Redwood.

They would wake up, cuddle, kiss and eventually have sex. The sex was very unsatisfying and very boring. Jane Doe liked the lead up, but when it came to actually entering her, it was such a waste of 2 minutes for both of them.

It took Jane Doe longer to clean up afterwards then the actual event with Gregor Redwood, but there was never an early morning awkwardness like there is with Sebastian Knight.

This morning proved no different and Jane Doe wonders if he gets up out of bed to avoid the morning fuck with her.

This could be for 2 reasons, a) Sebastian Knight physically can not fuck again without 24-48 hours in between or b) Sebastian Knight can't be bothered.

Regardless, he was gone by 8.15am.

Jane Doe saw Sebastian Knight later in the day and in was uncomfortable for her and surely he felt it. He is so non comm ital and it makes Jane Doe sick to her stomach, especially when she thinks about what he's up to when they are not together.

Sebastian Knight's phone rang when he was with Jane Doe, it was a blocked number. That means it was with girlfriend on the side, let's call her Jaclyn Mottram.

Jane Doe was feeling too sick to even ask & she knows that Sebastian Knight will get shitty, especially if Jane is right, which she is.

Why does she keep doing this to herself??

Jane Doe hates herself for this..........

Jane Doe hates Sebastian Knight for doing this to her.

Ex Husbands

Today started off great for Jane Doe.

She went to work and kept a few people happy. Because she was in a good mood, she was happy to talk to Sebastian Knight. She was in such a great mood that she asked him if they could go back to his place for 'lunch' which of course means sex. Hot great sex, she had a great time. The feeling of him inside her today was just what she needed and she needed to feel needed.

It was a 1hr lunch break, but they managed a bit of a chat and a bit of a joke around, and Jane Doe left Sebastian Knights house feeling quite happy.

The afternoon seemed to be proceeding smoothly until she contacted Gregor Redwood, her estranged husband over a money matter. Gregor must be having some financial troubles at the moment as he is very reluctant to hand over the money that he must pay Jane Doe each fortnight.

Normally Jane Doe would back off, but today she didn't and if she has too she'll take things further. The problem with Gregor Redwood is that he is a police officer, so therefore he believes that he is above the law, and he is always dangling this in front of Jane Doe to ensure that she always feels belittled when talking to him.

Penelope Greer, Jane Does enemy, although Penelope doesn't know this, wasn't at work today. Which is great, but that means that Jane Doe is not looking forward to work tomorrow. She knows that Sebastian Knight fancies Penelope Greer and is sure that he would take full advantage of this if Penelope didn't have a boyfriend. In fact it has been relayed to Jane Doe that Sebastian Knight did in fact have the opportunity to sleep with Penelope Greer, however he denies that anything happened. Jane Doe is not so sure. Sebastian Knight can not be trusted.

All things aside, Sebastian Knight is coming over for dinner. Jane Doe doesn't want to cook him dinner but she does want more sex from him. Dinner is a small price to pay because Sebastian Knight is an excellent lover. He has been taking a certain anti depressant medication that makes quick hard fast sex almost impossible, but Jane Doe believes that it's worth the wait, for when he finally comes, it's like he explodes inside her. This make Jane Doe feel complete.

Sebastian Knight will stay the night, and things will be great until they dress in their work clothes and then they are two completely different people.

Two people who just fuck.

What's wrong with Jane Doe

Jane Doe is in a relationship with Sebastian Knight, so I guess he must be her boyfriend. I'm not sure why though, she hates him and every chance that she can, she assumes that he's doing the dirty on her. He probably is, his past history in relationships would indicate this. He even kept an old girlfriend on the sidelines in case he ever needed an ego boost. Apparently she's gone, but Jane doesn't think so. So if she thinks this, why is she still his girlfriend? She considers herself a doormat in this relationship, and from an outsiders point of view, I can see why. Sebastian Knight gets everything he wants. He's a liar, a thief & a cheat. All of which has been confirmed by Jane, but she's still there, still hating him and worse, hating herself for still being there.

Jane Doe is also married to Gregor Redwood, albeit separated though. Gregor Redwood is refusing to divorce Jane for some strange reason. This is the second time that Jane has had Gregor Redwood served. The first time, she ended up back in his arms, for no other reason than guilt. May-be he is hoping for the same outcome.

Jane Doe has a job that she hates. Jane Doe hates people in general, so it is a great amazement that she has a job assisting people with their day to day needs. Jane was waiting for Mr Right to come along and whisk her away from her mundane life, but this is looking more grim as each day passes. Jane Doe knows this & it causes her great concern.

Jane Doe has Borderline Personality Disorder. Although not badly. Jane Doe has recently been put in a situation where people started to judge her as a 'borderline' without even knowing her. This made Jane Doe quite upset and as a result Jane has been trying to prove to herself that she is no longer borderline, she wonders how long she can keep this up.

Jane Doe loves prescription medication. A fondness that landed Jane Doe right in the local ER, unconscious for 3 days. Jane still managed to convince the doctors that it was an accident. How does Jane manage that?

Jane Doe is an insomniac. She hasn't slept unmedicated for at least 4 years. Jane Doe is always tired but can never turn her mind down enough so the static lulls and she can drift off. It drives her crazy and the more she lies awake at night, the more awake she becomes. Jane Doe is crazy.